


Can't You Hear My Call?

by washtheseghostsclean



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:27:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26780638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/washtheseghostsclean/pseuds/washtheseghostsclean
Summary: He doesn’t know if it’s been minutes, hours, or days since it happened. He only knows that it has been going on forever and it fucking hurts. He misses his family, he misses racing and his friends and…He misses Daniel.God, he fucking misses Daniel.
Relationships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen
Comments: 20
Kudos: 104





	Can't You Hear My Call?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [simplyverstappen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplyverstappen/gifts).



> So simplyverstappen received a prompt about a Maxiel Guardian Angel AU and I asked if I could pick it up. Obviously she's awesome and said yes. While I had many ideas this one won out. For this one let's all pretend that ghosts can actually touch each other but they cannot interact with humans. Huge fan of HP, not so much of JK Rowling anymore though. Also I made myself cry with this and I don't cry often so be prepared.

_Can't you hear my call?_

_Are you coming to get me now?_

_I've been waiting for_

_You to come rescue me_

_I need you to hold_

_All of the sadness I can not_

_Living inside of me_

_I'm in here_

_I'm trying to tell you something_

_Can anybody help?_

_I’m In Here ~ Sia (Acoustic)_

* * *

His heart breaks as he looks at the older man.

He had no idea that what happened to him would impact Daniel in such a way. Fuck, Max barely had an idea of what Daniel felt for him. It’s not like they talked a lot about it when they should. All Max can remember is late nights at Daniel’s place and loads of fights in the paddock. Harsh words that were exchanged in the heat of the moment. He knows now though, looking at Daniel’s pained features, standing over Max’s lifeless body, he does know and it’s tearing him apart because he cannot do anything about it.

Not when he’s in this fucking state.

* * *

“You know that you can change your clothes, right?” The perky brunette appears beside him and Max throws her a dirty glare. “Like, no one is stopping you from wishing these rags you’re wearing away.” Max looks down at the clothes he was wearing the night he died. The left sleeve of his denim shirt had been torn from top to bottom and there are small rips here and there on his jeans. He could, but he doesn’t want to. It’s not like it matters in the state he is right now.

“Fuck off.” He mumbles and the brunette only rolls her eyes.

* * *

Max has never been a particularly religious person. So he thought that when did die he’d be spared the whole heaven vs hell situation and just fuck off into space. Clearly, that did not happen, alright? It did not and now he’s stuck in this shitty place and he just wants to go.

Somewhere.

Anywhere but here.

* * *

He doesn’t know if it’s been minutes, hours, or days since it happened. He only knows that it has been going on forever and it fucking hurts. He misses his family, he misses racing and his friends and…

 _He misses Daniel_.

God, he fucking misses Daniel.

* * *

“Do you want to know how it happened?” The annoying brunette is back again, more determined than ever. She’s been here from the very start but Max refuses to interact with her. If he does then it means this is real and it simply cannot be. He has to go back, he has to return to them, he has to tell Daniel.

He just has to…

* * *

“Ok.” He murmurs and she pulls him along with her. The building they are in reminds him a lot of a hospital. It might even be the hospital they brought him to. Cold and white with way too much light coming through the windows. It’s a bit of misfortune because Max fucking hates them. Strangely enough, he’s not able to see outside. He’s also not in the right mindset to question it so he lets it slide this time.

“Here we go.” The girl, she’s told him her name before but he does not remember, pushes a door open and they slip in. There’s a series of huge TV screens and then his life is passing by before his eyes.

Literally.

He can see his early childhood, the shitty teenage years, the ones racing with Daniel at Red Bull. All up to the night it all ended. He pauses on that memory, his stomach turning, he’s not ready to watch that one quite yet. Max doesn’t remember much, he just knows he was out with some friends, they had a lot to drink. Then he remembers a dare, getting into his Aston Martin. He’s so sure of himself, he’s a Formula 1 driver after all.

And then nothing.

* * *

“I’m stupid.” He breathes, memories still playing before his eyes. “God, I’m fucking stupid.” A funeral, his team dressed in black, Lando, Carlos, fuck even Leclerc is there. Then he sees Daniel, holding onto his mother and his sister. Both leaning against him as if he’s what’s keeping them upright. Max can see the deep lines on his forehead, black circles under his eyes. He looks exhausted, worse than any other time Max has ever seen him. And Max has seen Daniel through a lot of exhausting nights.

“You are.” The girl beside him nods. “They miss you very much.”

“I know.” Max sighs.

* * *

Her name is Emma and currently, she’s the only thing keeping him sane. She was right when she said they were allowed to change out of the dirty clothes. That was only the first step to get used to this new reality. Max doesn’t like it but he cannot do much about it now. His stupidity is the only thing to blame.

“Where are we?” He asks they’ve been sitting side by side, watching his memories again and again. The ones while he was racing, the plane rides to the circuits with Daniel, Max messing around with the rest of the gang. The small moments that made him love his job.

“Limbo.” She shrugs, leaning her head against his shoulder. Max lets her, she looks around Vic’s age and honestly just as scared as he is.

“Fuck.” He breaths and puts an arm around her.

* * *

It turns out that if you die with unfinished business you are not able to move on. Actually, you do not allow yourself to move on and find peace. The fact that you might also have people that are not ready to let go of you does also affect your willingness to leave the world of the living.

Now if you ask Max, he has a lot of unfinished business. Daniel’s face flashes before his eyes again and Max feels his heart skip a beat. His dark eyes red from crying, his usually smiling face dark and serious.

Fuck he cannot even begin to cover the mess he has created.

* * *

They finally find their way out of the hospital and into the chilly streets of Monaco. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. They are both ghosts. God, Max hates the word and what it represents. He used to make fun of Charles and his stupid scary stories and now they’ve all come true. Emma is quiet beside him as they move through badly lit alleyways. It’s not until they reach the familiar building that Max realizes where they are. Max cannot see anything but the front balcony of the flat and some lights coming from within.

“Is this where they live?” Emma asks beside him.

“What?” He says distracted, the need to just go and ring the bell overwhelming. He used to have a key to this place. Not that he used it much but it hang on his keychain. Is it still there or did Daniel take it back?

“Your family?” It comes out as a question. “Do they live here?”

“No, he’s-“ Max shakes his head. “He’s just a friend.”

“Oh,” Her face falls a bit. “Do you want me to show you where I live?” She suggests excitedly and she’s so happy about it that he cannot say no.

“Sure.” It’s the first time he smiles.

* * *

Eternity is a fucking long time he has learned.

He cannot drink. He cannot eat. He cannot sleep. Honestly, there’s not much he can do, what with being dead and all. He cannot speak to humans, he cannot scare teenagers, and most of all he cannot move on to find peace. He’s taken to roaming the streets, Emma by his side, visiting familiar places. What if Daniel happens to be at most of them too? He’d like to see his mom and sister but getting to Belgium is kind of hard at this point.

“I was thinking,” Emma breaks the silence. She likes to talk a lot, he’s come to learn. “If we have unfinished business and we need to well, finish it, to move on there must be a way to do it, right?”

“I’ll be honest with you,” The side of his lips raises in a small smile. “I have no fucking idea how.” Emma frowns and slaps his shoulder.

“I’m serious!” She insists. “There must be a way.”

“I don’t think there is.” He signs deeply.

They will be stuck here forever.

* * *

They spend their time between her house and Daniel’s.

Watching their loved ones move around, talk to each other, living their lives like Max and Emma are not missing from them. No, that’s a cruel thing to say. They have seen Emma’s mom turn on the light of her room and cry many days. They have watched her dad turn to the driver’s seat saying ‘Seatbelt, sweetheart’ only for his face to fall a moment later.

They have watched Daniel night after night crying himself to sleep. It breaks Max a little more every time he sees him. All he can think of in those moments is the night they fought and Max told him what they had meant nothing. He was so fucking stupid it, still is if you count this mess of a situation he’s in.

He does miss Daniel. Max misses kissing him, hugging him after a bad race, slipping into his bed after a night out, looking at him across the room during driver briefings.

Max just misses him so fucking much.

* * *

It happens out fo nowhere.

One moment she’s quiet and the next Emma screams so loud she vibrates. It’s deep and full of pain and Max’s steal heartbreaks. They are in the Princess Antoinette park, sitting on the swings and suddenly all goes quiet around them. No one can see them but they still felt the surge of power. The shift in the energy around them.

“Fuck me.” He mumbles.

“You’re not my type.” She smiles exhausted, leaning against the chain that holds the swing up.

* * *

They start experimenting after that. Trying to replicate what happened at the park with little success. Emma remembers being angry about being stuck in between. She really does want to move on to whatever is waiting for them on the other side. Max hopes it’s a void where he can get lost. Emma wants it to be a huge library full of books. He teases her about it but what she wants does sound better than his. Then he remembers all the times Daniel teased him about loving books and sighs.

“You’re focusing on the wrong emotion.” He finally says after the up-tenth time Emma tries to get in touch with the energy inside her. “This thing happened because you were emotionally charged. What if your love for your parents is more powerful than your anger?” Emma nods and closes her eyes for a moment, focusing hard. Max watches in amazement as her hand turns solid for just a brief second. “Well done.” He pulls her into a tight hug like those Daniel used to give him whenever he won a race.

* * *

Being a ghost, as it turns out, really means that you can go wherever you want. Max does not know if it’s a good or a bad thing given the current situation. Emma chose to stay back at her own house tonight so he found his way to Daniel’s home by himself. He’s spent way too much time looking after Daniel, trying to figure out how to tell him he’s still here. How to make him understand that his body is not physically with him but his soul will always be. How could it not when the other half of it lives in Daniel’s body?

“I just miss him, ya know?” Daniel says and Max’s heart breaks. “I miss sleeping next to him, I miss arguing about his stupid addiction to energy drinks,” had Max been alive his eyes would burn because of the tears by now. “I miss seeing him across the room during press interviews.” Michael nods along as he passes a bottle of beer to Daniel. Max wants to yell at him. He wants to scream that he’s still here and he’s stupid and this was all his faulty and he’s still in love with him. Max wants to tell him that he loves him too and that Daniel deserves better. Daniel deserves someone better.

“I know, mate.” Michael puts a comforting hand on Daniel’s shoulder and it shouldn’t but it makes Max angry. He knows this is nothing, he knows that Michael is just a friend but he cannot control the emotion. The next moment all the lights go out, the fuses bursting one by one.

Fuck.

* * *

“So you just lost it?” Emma asks when they meet at the park again.

“I-,’ Max does not know how to explain. “I don’t know what happened. Michael touched him and I just-“

“You got jealous.” She smiles, understanding showing in her eyes.

“They are friends!” He insists.

“Does not mean you do not miss touching him or that anyone getting close to Daniel does not drive you crazy.” For someone so young she knows an awful lot of things, Max thinks.

“Maybe.”

“I think you should try controlling whatever this is with me.” She finally suggests.

* * *

They split their time between the park, her house, and Daniel’s place. Emma has become better at turning solid. It’s only for a few seconds at a time but she does manage. Max on the other hand fucking sucks and they keep arguing about it.

“You’ve read Harry Potter, right?” She asks one day after another session of bickering. She could try explaining to him the value of good memories through the Patronus charm.

“Harry Potter is garbage.” His face scrunches up in annoyance. How could people like that piece of shit he will never understand. “I prefer Lord of The Rings.” Emma opens her mouth to say something and closes it again.

“Honestly I do not have the time or patience to deal with this right now,” She huffs grabbing his shoulders and forcing him to look at her. “I need you to focus on the happiest moment you have ever had in your life.” She says determinedly. Which is a bit fucking hard because Max has not had many of those.

“Oh, which one do I choose from,” He murmurs sarcastically and then catches Emma’s eye. There’s no room for argument and he tries to think hard. “I think I have it.” He says after a moment.

“Focus on it.” She encourages but no matter how hard he tries nothing happens. “What are you thinking?”

“The day I won my first podium?” He offers weakly.

“Why are you so stupid?” It’s not funny but Max cannot help but laugh. “I need you to think about something that will make your heart fill with love, something that makes you feel like you’re going to burst at the seams.” Max understands but he does not want to do it. Those memories are always around only one person and it fucking hurts to think about him. Seeing the doubt in his eyes Emma encourages, “Do it.” Max cannot say no, not when her wide brown eyes look at him with such hope.

It takes him a few moments but they both watch in amazement as his fingers turn solid. First the tips, then the knuckles, then his palm. Max turns his hand around, trying to hold onto the feeling as long as he can.

“Wow.” Her breaths exhausted and lets go.

“What did you think about?” Emma asks him still entranced by what he did.

“The first time Daniel told me he loves me.” Max laughs softly, genially for the first time in what feels like in forever.

* * *

He doesn’t realize that Formula 1 is back until they pass by a store one day on their way to the park. Max sighs in wistfulness as the commercial for the upcoming race plays. He imagines that there will be some kind of memorial for him, people will say how much they miss him. He hasn’t even bothered to check who took his place.

“You miss it.” It’s a statement, not a question.

“I do.” He nods.

* * *

Christian has gone all out with the memorial. He has spared no expenses and has made Max appear larger than life. They watched the first race in the shop they saw the ad for it. Max spends the two hours that the event is running explaining to Emma the what and how’s of the sport. She listens to him carefully, like he’s talking about the most interesting thing on this planet and Max knows he doesn’t.

It feels nice to talk about something that was such a big part of his life though so he soaks on it.

* * *

Weeks go by and Max knows that Daniel is on the road, like he would have been having had he not died. Max only sees him through magazine covers and paper front pages. Daniel wins his home GP but he does not stop there. McLaren has worked well for him and he takes a win on every single race. Max is so fucking proud of him, his heart is about to burst.

Daniel deserves this. The championship has been a long way coming for him.

He will get it this year and it only stings for a moment that Max will not be there to share it with him.

* * *

Monaco is buzzing with people as the weekend is getting closer. Max cannot help be excited too and this only transfers to Emma. She seems quite content spending time in the paddock, watching as the organization is putting everything together. Max takes her to the Red Bull garage, showing her around the cars and the systems. Her eyes are shining and she floods him with questions.

It’s the most fun he has had in a while.

* * *

“So he’s going to win the championship?” Emma asks taking a seat beside him. They are at the Red Bull garage again, watching everyone get ready. They could have found a nice roof to hang but Max misses the mess that comes with a race weekend. Christian’s yelling, the mechanics buzzing around them, the smell of fuel. Not that he can smell anymore. So back here they are.

“Not exactly.” He frowns, something unsettling inside of him. “It’s still too early to know who’s going to win, he has won the last couple of races. We are only seven in and there’s many more to come.”

“He already won six.” She declares proudly and Max smiles. “He’s going to take his first championship.” She sounds so sure that Max believes her.

* * *

The race starts like any other.

Daniel knows the circuit just as good as he knows his home one. Monaco has always been one of his best performances in all the years they raced side by side. He has a steady pace, leading way ahead of the rest. Max can see the excitement in both the McLaren garage and the fans around them. Daniel has always been a very loved driver, making everyone go wild.

Then it all goes south.

There’s a crash and Max does not realize until it’s too late. He does not understand that it’s Daniel’s car that lost control when entering the tunnel. He doesn’t hear that an ambulance has been dispatched, the safety car in front of it to keep everyone in line.

He only feels his still heart beat when he sees the paramedics carrying an unconscious Daniel.

* * *

“He’s going to be alright,” Emma assures him but Max cannot take his eyes off of Daniel. He looks so pale and fragile. His vitals are stable but he has not woken yet. The doctors have said that they cannot say anything until he does so.

So Max spends the next forty-eight hours by Daniel’s hospital bed, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. Second by second only wishing it will get stronger.

“I told him he meant nothing to me.” Max breaths, his voice barely a whisper.

“Max-“

“He told me he loved me and I broke his heart because I was young and stupid and-“ The sobs that leave his chest is dry. Emma is by his side the next moment, rubbing his back soothingly. Max tries to run a finger over Daniel’s cheek but there’s no contact. Nothing to feel. He’s made out of thin air and Daniel is all flesh and blood and alive, fighting for his life. “I love you.” He whispers against Daniel’s ear. “I love you so much.”

“Maxy?” Daniel’s voice is weak but hearing it is enough for Max.

* * *

“He should not be going back,” Max says pacing in Daniel’s living room, Emma by his side. The doctors had run all the possible tests as soon as Daniel woke up. At the end of the day, it was just a very bad concussion and his body’s need for rest. His engineering team could not find the reason the back tires burst but they did and that threw Daniel against the wall just as he was entering the tunnel.

“They said he’s fine.” Emma offers from beside him as they watch Daniel train with Michael.

“He should not be going back,” Max repeats through gritted teeth. It’s only been two weeks, he needs to rest. Daniel needs to retire from the championship. He cannot go back, Max won’t let him.

“Max-“

“He cannot go back.” He screams and the fuses around Daniel’s house burst again.

No one of them sees Daniel’s gaze locked on them though.

* * *

They don’t talk about what happened, or about the crippling fear inside Max that Daniel might crash again. Emma comes and goes but Max is always at Daniel’s place. Always watching over him, making sure he goes to bed and wakes up breathing every morning. He missed three races but he’s still able to claim the big win. Max is not happy about it. He wishes Daniel would just forget about it and go back to his farm in Australia. Where he will be safe and sound. Well, as safe and sound as you can be in Australia where everything tries to kill you.

“I’m scared,” Max admits as he and Emma sit on the floor, watching Daniel pack.

“I can understand.” She says distracted and Max picks up on her unusual mood. Emma is focused on Daniel though.

“What’s up?” Max asks, his gaze following hers.

“He can see us.” She smiles excitedly.

“He cannot.” Max rolls his eyes.

“He can!” She insists and that’s when they both see Daniel flinch.

“I cannot see anything because nothing is in the room with me.” Daniel finally declares to himself loudly. “I had a very bad accident that scared the bejesus out me but I am not seeing Max or anyone else.” This one comes out more forcefully as he zips up his suitcase.

“He can see us!” Emma claps her hands and bounces her way to Daniel. He takes a step back and almost trips when she stops in front of him. “How long?”

“How long what?” Daniel asks dazed.

“How long has it been since you were able to see us?” You can feel the joy radiate off of her.

“You mean you’ve been here longer than three weeks?” Daniel asks alarmed.

“We’ve been here for almost a year.” She rolls her eyes and shrugs. Max feels nailed to the floor, watching them interact. “He’s watched you more, though.” She nods towards Max and Daniel gives him an incredulous look.

“Maxy?” The familiar nickname gets his attention and then Daniel is moving towards him. “Are you, _really_ , here?” Daniel is now kneeling in front of him.

“Yeah,” Max finally breaths. “Hi.”

* * *

One heartbeat.

Two.

Three.

“Hi,” Daniel smiles back weakly. “I missed you.” It’s three simple words and yet they make Max so fucking happy. He thought he’d never hear Daniel say them again. Max has no idea how much he wanted to hear them until now.

“I missed you too.” Max finally admits and if he could his arms would already be around Daniel. There’s a few moments of silence between them, Emma beaming on the background. Swinging on the balls of her feet as she watches them. And then Daniel’s head snaps back to look at her.

“Wait,” He says getting up again and Max follows him too. “I know you.” He moves towards the younger girl. “You’re-“

“Don’t.” Emma shakes her head and her face falls.

“You don’t know who she is?” Daniel asks him and Max is just as puzzled.

“Should I?” Max wonders. “She was there with me from the start so I never questioned it.” He shrugs.

“Maxy,” Daniel is now looking between them.

“Please, don’t,” Emma repeats quietly again.

“She was in the car with you.” The words hit Max like a tone of bricks.

“No, I was alone.” Max is completely lost.

“She was with you, Maxy.” Daniel insists and Max turns to look at her.

“I did not wear my seatbelt.” She smiles weakly and Max’s arms are around her the next moment.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers into her hair. “I’m so stupid.” He says again and her arms wrap around his waist. “I’m so very sorry.” The words feel strange on his lips. He’s grown to love this girl in his arms like a sister. They spent so much time together. To think that he is the reason her family is not able to kiss her every morning, it kills him. “I’m really, truly sorry.” He repeats and there are no words strong enough to express what he feels. They pull back and Emma’s smile splits her face in two.

“Thank you.” She breaths out peacefully and fades from his arms. It takes him a moment to realize that she was waiting for his apology. That this was all she needed to move on and he smiles too.

“Maxy?” Daniel’s voice from behind him brings him back to the present. “Are you alright?”

“I love you,” Max tells him for the first time. “I’ve loved you for years and I was stupid when I told you meant nothing to me.” Daniel frowns at the mention of that godforsaken night they fought. The night he went out with his friends and never returned home. It feels like so long ago.

“Maxy-“

“Let me finish,” Max snaps. “You mean the world to me and I will always love you.” He takes the few steps that separate them and he’s in front of Daniel too. “But you cannot hang onto me. You will go out there, you will win this championship and you will live your life.”

“Maxy-“

“Shut up,” Max laughs softly. “I know how you feel, but you cannot waste your life. I won’t allow you to. You have to live for both of us.” Daniel nods, understanding what Max is trying to say. It’s easy to get lost in grief when you lose someone. To get lost on what it could have been and let life pass you by.

“I love you,” Daniel says instead. Max looks at his hand, flexing his fingers slowly.

“Say it again?”

“I love you,” Daniel repeats and Max feels the warmth spread inside of him. They both watch as his body turns solid and then he’s pulling Daniel in for a deep kiss. This is not going to last long but it’s going to be enough. His arms wrap around Daniel’s neck and Max deepens the kiss. It feels like it’s been going on forever but yet he wants more. He _needs_ more. 

“I love you too.” Max sighs when they pull back and can feel the effect of the kiss wear off. “See you on the other side.” He gives Daniel one last smile and then he’s gone.

* * *

He finally feels free.

“Ugh,” He grumbles looking down at his clothes. “I hate white.” He says touching the linen shirt and khaki pants.

“It looks terrible on you.” He’s surprised to hear the familiar voice but Max smiles nonetheless.

“I know!”

“You can change them if you don’t like them.” Emma rolls her eyes and Max is thrown back to the very first conversation they had.

“Nah.” He shakes his head. “It matches yours. I’ll keep it.” And then they’re both laughing.

Eternity might not be that dull and boring after all.


End file.
